My fear of flying and turbulence is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do anymore?

I've been lived in several continents since I was a child, traveled to 30 countries, frequently travel, and yet my fear of flying overwhelms me so much.

The fear has built up from experiences and has snowballed into a monster.

I traveled a week ago, and couldn't sleep for a week straight before the flight because I was so anxious. Now, my family is planning an AMAZING trip next month and I'm on the verge of not wanting to fly because I'm so afraid.

I'm cautious about which airlines I fly. I've tried therapy. I download movies, books, I meditate, I know and am aware of the fact that turbulence isn't dangerous and keep a sheet with facts and reminders. I drink wine when flying. And yet nothing soothes this crippling fear. When there's turbulence, I don't know what to do. My body goes into fight-or-flight mode, no matter what I've learned or know. I can't for the life of me control my body. I feel like death is coming and I can't separate myself from it. Even now as I type this, I feel so anxious knowing that traveling is my favorite thing in the world and yet it is one of the things I fear most.

If the whole plane ride is smooth with 0 turbulence, I'm fine. But the anxiety before flying and during turbulence is unbearable. I just don't know what to do and don't want to take meds for it.

Please give me your tips and advice. I need it.

10 POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER

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Added (1). this is JFK international airport, NYC

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